Relationships: the power of the man
The man is expected to be much more than the man in the relationship. He's expected to be the punching bag of it as well. I know every man reading this can understand what I mean when I say this but for the women and maybe even the men that can't, let me elaborate.
Although displayed as bad and even delivered as bad via the woman's actions, this a good thing. The problem with this "punching bag" way of thinking is every man knows this is what almost EVERY person that looks up to him views him as. A man looks to his woman for a break from that not realizing she's going to prove that a "punching bag" man is used as such the most, ironically, with his woman. This is because the man is the place of refuge, anger, love and basically every emotion she feels. This is such a powerful and important thing for us to be entrusted with. To ensure we give our woman that refuge she desires our job is NOT to reinforce this "punching bag" way of thinking because we are the LEADERS of the relationship. We have the power to show our women how to get what they want from us but often are so concerned with how they feel we give them a false sense of security which is honestly unfair. Because there's always that day where we just can't be the "punching bag" and we lash out angrily as if the woman is tripping(which she probably is) but WE created that standard for her. We're supposed to be the leader of the relationship yet we follow our women right down the hole of misguided emotion then get mad at her as if we didn't play our role in it too. The man creates a postive standard when he says to his woman "no" or "why can you cry when you face a tough time but I'm supposed to hide my feelings and be strong for you as if I don't need to lay my emotions on the table too" or "just because I'm a man doesn't mean I don't feel like you do and I'm not going to create the standard that when life gets tough you get to go crazy while I have to manage myself. We're going to keep EACH OTHER strong by allowing one another to feel what we feel but keeping our emotions in check by releasing them in a positive way".
We as men always complain that we have to wait until no one is around to let out our pain or can only express so much. If we lead and create the standard of we are people too, not punching bags with human characteristics, we begin to see relationships where men make their women happier etc. Women want to feel secure. To do that we need to be honest with our women during the times they want us to be a "punching bag". But we also need to learn to be quiet and listen and come back to address our women at a LATER TIME from when she was venting in order for her to be more receptive. This allows the woman to get her feelings out but also allows us to create the standard that we are not "punching bags". For the men that can't see what I mean or maybe have tried this and seen no improvement just stay patient. What happens when you quietly listen to her and don't try to solve her problem is you become able to express your feelings more. The less a woman feels she has on her plate the more she focus on being a better woman and your job is to help her do that. And if you want to help her solve an issue just ask her "is it okay for me to offer a solution right now or do you just want me to listen right now?" Trust that the way you lead her is the way she'll go. Even if she doesn't want to, subconsciously she will.
Here's a video on how women think. It comically shows that men need to let your woman be what she is, a woman, because it will never change.
Moral: When you worry about being a better you, your woman follows.
10/31/2022 09:42:35 am
Thannks for a great read
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